The Girl Who Tried to Use Stamps as Currency

Dear Stagecoach,
I once heard that stamps could be used as legal tender. This was around the time that I heard one could go to the Bank of England and demand ingots of gold in return for banknotes, which is sadly something I have never got round to doing. Have you?
Last week, I spent too much money, and have found that this week I cannot afford to purchase a Megarider or DayTripper ticket. I prefer a DayTripper, as it allows me to travel beyond the orange zone into the blue zone, which includes Pebsham tip. If I don't have enough money, or if the weather is too unpleasant, I do not allow myself the luxury of a weekly visit to Pebsham tip, and indeed tend to stick to the 99 'Wave' bus, which takes me past the fire station on Bohemia Road, stopping outside Lidl. This is where I ran into trouble. I usually spend £2.97 in Lidl. This gets me tomatoes, pitta bread, Jaffa cakes and a bottle of toilet cleaner. I seem to get through a lot of toilet cleaner; I suspect Lidl's own is not as effective as a brand such as Toilet Duck, and indeed a 'false economy'.
On Tuesday of last week, I noticed that Lidl were stocking a fine range of 'incidentals' in the middle aisle. I am ashamed to say that I succumbed to temptation. I returned with far more than my usual purchases; I also had a fan, a circular saw, and one of those metal things with suction pads on which you can place all your toiletries and flannels within easy reach whilst in the shower. I don't know why I am still crying about this, but it caused an almighty row with my (now ex) partner, who told me it was useless and pointless and asked how on earth it would hold the weight of all the 'lotions and potions' I insist on using on a daily basis, which serve simply to render my skin red raw and my hair like a birds' nest. In all fairness to him, I shouldn't have gone at him with the circular saw, and he WAS right: it certainly wasn't strong enough to hold my industrial-sized bottle of TRESemme.
Last week also happened to be the birthday of a family member, along with an occasion on which I needed to send a thank-you card. Since you ask, the thank-you card was to thank Lidl for cleaning up my spillage with so little fuss. So, I stamped my cards and posted them, before realising that there were four stamps left in the book. This made me ponder.
My Megarider expired on Monday, and I have no means to get back up to Lidl to return the circular saw (I cleaned the blood and screams off it), suction thing, fan and tomatoes. The fan, may I say, has turned out to be a godsend during the last few weeks of hot weather. It only seems to blow the electrics if I use whilst in the bath, but, in its defence, I do splash a bit.
Stamps are quite expensive now, apparently sixty pence for a first class, and a little less for a second class. Why people can't just be satisfied with an eCard, I have no idea, and I suspect this is an issue I will have to bring up over Christmas dinner, although I loathe to do so at that time of year. Last year I asked Uncle Doug if, this year, he would be happy with a handwritten poem rather than the usual Old Spice gift set. I will not repeat his reply, nor will I regale you with the tale of the painful placement of the turkey leg. He was, suffice to say, livid.
So, I have four stamps left. Four times sixty is twenty-four. Twenty-four pounds will buy me two and a bit Megarider tickets. I do hope you will not think me bold for offering stamps as currency on the 99 'Wave' bus, but I do so need to pop to Lidl.
Kind regards,
The Girl Who Does

The Girl Who Does Collections

Following my proposal to Hastings Borough Council regarding the regeneration of Hastings' Pier, which, incidentally, they have not replied to (I can only assume this is because they are still researching as to whether lions or bears are the animals which do/don't eat you when you stare them in the eye - I do hope that nobody has been mauled or injured in any way during this research task), I have been patiently waiting for the shortbread tins which will render the pier fireproof and avoid another occurrence of massive scary fire and unprecedented levels of local distress. Today, I received a tweet from @candyflippa. She has kindly kicked off the collection with a rather fetching traditionally styled Scottish shortbread barrel. I am hoping the lid could be used for decorative effect on top of one of the turrets in which I plan to keep the lions/bears. I have acquired several useful items myself, mostly from my own cupboards. Oh, what treasures cupboards hold! A Marks and Spencer tin depicting snowmen and children killing each other (some of the scenes have faded, so I am unsure as to whether this description is wholly accurate); a tobacco tin depicting blackened lungs and death (not strictly shortbread, but I shall cover it with tartan paper); a roll of bright blue electrical tape, the outside of which is covered in biscuit crumbs; a padlock for which I cannot recall the combination, but will be useful for the tin gates at the entrance to the pier; and a misshapen fork. So, friends, anything you feel will be useful to get this gig rolling will be gratefully received. 

Outstanding.